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AC,
I totally understand how you feel. I chose to divorce my husband because of his SAS activities, but still I feel that awful rejection. I know what you mean when you say it hurts to look at other married couples. I feel that stab in my heart, too. And I hate looking down at my left hand and seeing no ring.
This business is so unfair. As wives we loved and gave and trusted, but it made no difference. That is very hard to accept. A book that is helping me is The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson. Some of the exercises seen kind of corny, but they work.
I am still struggling with the fact that my ex is furious at me. In fact, I would say he hates me. I know in my head that he is blaming me so he doesn’t have to face his own demons, but it still hurts my feelings so much.
I am glad all of you are here to listen. Others can’t truly understand this nightmare. Blessings to all.
PR
PR Your feelings expressed so clearly are exactly how I feel. My ex (come October) is absolutely furious with me too and has moved into a new relationship and is gloating about how wonderful she is and ho whappy they are………………………………………she is a nice lady whom we knew, but she has no idea whats in store down the track. I am sure he will be much more careful to prevent her catching him at anything that we all know about. Yes so hurtful ++++++++ and only real understanding is from women who have been through it.
I struggle every day with the unfairness of what has happened due to all this, but I do get stronger……………..gone back to four days work a week and loving meeting lots of new people of all ages. That helps a lot to realise how many lovely people there are out there…………..its so easy to be locked in thinking about that one person who has hurt us so badly
Thank you for book recommendation.
Pam
Pam in Oz,
I believe you shared your e mail with me once before. I can’t track it down. Would you mind doing so again? We seem to have similar circumstances.
PR
PR My email is pamela.3@optusnet.com.au……………..I think this site is wonderful but there is such a delay at times when you are just craving someone else’s perspective to help you through a bad day. Look forward to hearing from you
Pam
PR,
I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one with these feelings of loss and rejection. I just pray to god he stops these horrible sexual acts before he gets into real trouble, for our kids sake. I don’t want them growing up in his type of environment! I will look for this book, I’m open to any type of healing advice!
AC,
I have the opportunity now to look back – my kids are now the stronger for all our trials – more mature and able to see directly what bad choices turn out like. Have the hope that good will come from all the bad you are in the middle of now. I know it’s hard to believe – been there. You need hope right now too!
Praying for you – just do what you can for you and the kids – you cannot and most likely will not get through to him to want to change.
Focus on you and the kids!
Jodi